i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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