I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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