The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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