For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
