im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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