Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
