i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
