Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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