I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
