I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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