butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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