I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
