I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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