Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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