i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
