But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
