just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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