I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Pants are for mortals
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
