Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
