What did we do last night that was yellow?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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