i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
