We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm really busy with my period
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