Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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