i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
