I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
