talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
