Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
