I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I currently don't understand fingers.
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