I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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