what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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