Me too!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
