She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
