Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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