WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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