I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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