quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
