I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
