I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have feelings that need drinking.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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