just tell him i said nine months
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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