Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
