He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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