So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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