Don't you send me to vm
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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