I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
