Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
What a dumb baby whore.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
