sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
