just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize