i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
