she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
