new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
