hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
