When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
