im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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