i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
