I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am one with the molecules
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
